If tears could bring you back
by TolkienkookAD
Summary: A deitobi angst songfic, to If only tears could bring you back to me Mild shonen ai. R&R!


A/Ns…This is for Heartlesstheif, it's a DeiTobi angst songfic. I was reading SharinganK's stuffs when I was listening to "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back to Me", and was overwhelmed by inspiration. Tobito theory implications.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Please don't sue me, Kthnxbai.

If Tears Could Bring You Back

_How will I start  
Tomorrow without you here  
Who's heart will guide me  
When all the answers disappear_

Deidara never thought Tobi should be in the Akatsuki. He was too gentle, too kind. Our favourite Iwa-nin remembered trudging home, broken and bloody, from a fierce mission, when Tobi stopped, and freed a butterfly from a spider's web. Deidara was always more careful with his explosions after that, though he never knew if Tobi noticed. He wondered if he half wanted to find a butterfly in a spider's web, and set it free, just like Tobi had set him free. He wanted to show his guiding light that he could be gentle too. Not that he would ever have told Tobi that.

_Is it too late  
Are you too far gone to stay  
This one's forever  
Should never have to go away_

It wasn't fair, dammit, that that had to happen to him. Tobi had fought like a wildcat, holding his own against the strongest Akatsuki member. Deidara had not known that Tobi was an Uchiha, but he didn't see how that would set Itachi off so. In those moments of blind rage, after Itachi had delivered the killing blow, He had asked why it was necessary…why he had to kill him. His only answer was; "When I start a job, I finish it."

_What will I do  
You know I'm only half without you  
How will I make it through_

Tobi never really was any match against Itachi…he had to hide his sharingan, so didn't know as many techiniques. Deidara arrived in the last few seconds, but wasn't fast enough to keep him alive. Deidara felt as lonely as he had ever been in his life. Tobi was everything his parents, his friends, Sasori wasn't. He understood Deidara perfectly, and there was nothing Deidara would ever regret more than pushing him away. Shoving away his other half.

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give  
If you returned to me someday  
Somehow, someway  
If my tears could bring you back to me_

What he wouldn't give to have him back, to tell him all he had kept secret. To open his heart and love, with a certainty he would be loved in return. For the first time, Deidara wondered what he was doing in the Akatsuki. Itachi had told him that Akatsuki members couldn't cry over the fallen, but if that was the case, then Deidara had no place here.

_I'd cry you an ocean  
If you'd sail on home again  
Wings of emotion  
Will carry you, I know they can_

He clutched the bright orange mask in his hands, unconsciously rubbing it with his sleeve. He saw his reflection in the shiny material, and saw he had the same eyes he had always marveled at in Tobi. Those hollow deadened eyes. He had to figure out where to bury the body. 

_Just light will guide you  
And your heart will chart the course  
Soon you'll be drifting  
Into the arms of your true north  
_

Deidara had to leave, he knew. He had once called Akatsuki home, but without that orange masked plebian stumbling around, it was hollow. Empty. Devoid of anything that was cheery. He left that night, guided by emotion and memories.

_Look in my eyes  
And you will see a million tears have gone by  
And still they're not dry_

He was almost there, almost to where his cracked heart told him was the right place. Fully taking in his surroundings for the first time in 3 days, Deidara realized he was in the Grass Country, near where it had all happened. 

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give  
If you returned to me someday  
Somehow, someway  
If my tears could bring you back to me_

Was that movement up in the trees ahead? What creature dared to approach Tobi's death place? Staggering through the trees in pure exhaustion, Deidara found himself staring into the striking face, the one he had learned to love. There were no words needed, Tobi merely extended a hand to deidara, and they were together, in an embrace that would last forever.

_I hold you close  
And shout the words I only whispered before  
For one more chance, for one last dance  
There's nothing that I would not give and more_

For one instant, they were together, watching the dance of the heavens, watching the world spin around them in eternal harmony, and with amazement, he saw his parents and Sasori watching too, standing by and letting life spin past them.

"They brought me here," Tobi said. The words barely registered with Deidara. He was in the arms of his important person, there was nothing else.

After an eternity, though, Deidara drew back and stared at Tobi, waiting to hear his explanation of worrying him so. Tobi just smiled mournfully and pried Deidara's arms off of him. "You have to go back," He said, and Deidara was clutching air, holding on for his dear life to something that wasn't there. He was shouting, blinded by fury and sorrow, he had all he ever wanted, and had to give it up.

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give  
If you returned to me someday  
Somehow, someway  
If my tears could bring you back to me_

That night, Deidara was collapsed in hunger and sorrow, lying there picking at the bloodstained grass where Tobi had fallen. A flicker of light shined above him, and he felt the ghost of a kiss. He was reaching, wanting, knowing he couldn't have it. A voice whispered in his ear. "I'll see you again, Deidara-senpai."


End file.
